The Good The Bad and The Ugly

Sometimes you have to take the good times with the bad times. I like to make the best out of all times. As a blended family we have had a lot of what I like to call "rough" times. Lloyd does his best with what has been dealt to him. What I mean by this is that he came into our lives when Nathan and Alex were already formed. They were 8 and 6 years old I believe. They had and still have a relationship with their real father. This is hard for all of us because they constantly remind Lloyd that he is not their dad. Mostly it is Alex doing the reminding. Nathan and Lloyd have a good relationship and there is a good respect between the both of them. However, Alex and Lloyd have never and unfortunately will probably never bond. It is not becuase Lloyd hasn't tried; it is more because Alex will not let him in. Alex really does not let anyone in. Not even me! Last night we had a really emotional conversation; a rather heated discussion. I laid a lot of things out on the table for both of the boys to hear. Mostly it was for Alex. I know he gets singled out a lot, but if you lived our lives you would understand why! What started the conversation was Alex saying that I do not care about him. This is spoken from his mouth quite often lately. He even took it as far last night as to say that I was probably not even his mom and that he was probably adopted. It was very hurtful to me and I was done hearing such lies come out of his mouth. I tried to explain a lot of things to him, but to be honest I feel it all went in one ear and out the other. Things have never been easy with Alex. His form of reality is all messed up. He has a very low self esteem and I do not know how to help him. We have tried everything you can think of to help him. On Thursday of this week, I will be discussing many options with his counselor. I have to find out if there is anything else that we can try. I hate that it is the way that it is, but it is what it is and we have to take the good with the bad. I have to say that I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband because I think any other man would have ran away a long time ago, but Lloyd stays. He takes the good with the bad a majority of the time. Unfortunately he gets the bad more then the good. There is good trust me there is. Alex is really a sweet loving and kind person when he shows that side of himself. He does use his manners and I get a lot of compliments when we are out about how well mannered he is. Just when it comes to school and home he struggles. It is anytime he is faced with authority. I know where most of it steams from, but I will not go there in this post. He is going through a lot of changes right now as a preteen, but that is only a peice of the puzzle. I know that there are a lot of things that I can do better, but I have to take the good with the bad. I do what I can when I can. I may not do my best and I may not give it 100%, but I will never give up.

ReCap

I thought I would Recap for those that are new to my blog or haven't visited in a while. I am a mother, a wife, a sister,an aunt, granddaughter and a daughter. I am also a loyal friend and born again Christian. I am by no means perfect and never claimed to be so. I refer to all my children, husband and friends by their real names unless they ask otherwise. I have four children, three boys and one girl. I have many nieces and nephews as I consider my friends children my nieces and nephews. I have one sister and two brothers. I have been married twice. My first marriage is an interesting story that I will have to blog about another time. The only great thing that came out of it was my two oldest children. Now I have been married to my knight in shining armour for four years and we are raising all four of our children. I refer to him as my knight in shining armor because without him I do not know where I would be. This blog was mostly created for family and friends that have moved away, but I also use it as a venting tool. I am an open book what you see is what you get. I am very simplistic. You will not find anything special here, just a family trying to make ends meet. We live pay check to pay check and sometimes outside our means. We eat left overs and go out to eat more then we should. My house is clean, but lived in. I do not dust so watch out for spider webs. I do kill the spiders if I see them and any other bug that makes its way in. I HATE BUGS! I drive a mini van (as of April of this year), but I am not a scoccer mom. We cannot afford to put our kids in sports. My middle son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was three, but we have had him off medication for almost a year. My oldest son is quiet and stays out of trouble. Then the two youngest well they are not old enough to really cause any trouble. I had my oldest son when I was seventeen (twenty days before I turned eightteen). I will be thirty-three in August and just had my daughter in May. There is a fifteen year age difference between my oldest and youngest. That is what happens when you become a blended family. I love it and would not change it for the world. I work very part time as a preschool teacher and have been in that field for over fifteen years. I have my AA degree in Early Childhood Education and love what I do. I was voulenteering in the children's ministry at my chruch until I had my daughter. I will go back to that in August. I am a born again Christian, but I do not read my bible. I go to church almost every Sunday, but I cannot quote scripture. I believe in God and have accepted Jesus into my heart, but I do not try to force that onto anyone else. I know that you are suppose to share the good news, but I have a hard time doing so when I do not know much about it. All I know is that I believe and I cannot force someone else to believe. We live in California and have done so most of my adult life. As a child my dad was in the military so we moved around a lot. Now I like to stay put. However, with as bad as the economy is getting if we were given the opportunity we would move in a heartbeat. Well I think that is the just of things. If you have any questions feel free to ask. Like I said I am an open book!