The Good The Bad and The Ugly

Sometimes you have to take the good times with the bad times. I like to make the best out of all times. As a blended family we have had a lot of what I like to call "rough" times. Lloyd does his best with what has been dealt to him. What I mean by this is that he came into our lives when Nathan and Alex were already formed. They were 8 and 6 years old I believe. They had and still have a relationship with their real father. This is hard for all of us because they constantly remind Lloyd that he is not their dad. Mostly it is Alex doing the reminding. Nathan and Lloyd have a good relationship and there is a good respect between the both of them. However, Alex and Lloyd have never and unfortunately will probably never bond. It is not becuase Lloyd hasn't tried; it is more because Alex will not let him in. Alex really does not let anyone in. Not even me! Last night we had a really emotional conversation; a rather heated discussion. I laid a lot of things out on the table for both of the boys to hear. Mostly it was for Alex. I know he gets singled out a lot, but if you lived our lives you would understand why! What started the conversation was Alex saying that I do not care about him. This is spoken from his mouth quite often lately. He even took it as far last night as to say that I was probably not even his mom and that he was probably adopted. It was very hurtful to me and I was done hearing such lies come out of his mouth. I tried to explain a lot of things to him, but to be honest I feel it all went in one ear and out the other. Things have never been easy with Alex. His form of reality is all messed up. He has a very low self esteem and I do not know how to help him. We have tried everything you can think of to help him. On Thursday of this week, I will be discussing many options with his counselor. I have to find out if there is anything else that we can try. I hate that it is the way that it is, but it is what it is and we have to take the good with the bad. I have to say that I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband because I think any other man would have ran away a long time ago, but Lloyd stays. He takes the good with the bad a majority of the time. Unfortunately he gets the bad more then the good. There is good trust me there is. Alex is really a sweet loving and kind person when he shows that side of himself. He does use his manners and I get a lot of compliments when we are out about how well mannered he is. Just when it comes to school and home he struggles. It is anytime he is faced with authority. I know where most of it steams from, but I will not go there in this post. He is going through a lot of changes right now as a preteen, but that is only a peice of the puzzle. I know that there are a lot of things that I can do better, but I have to take the good with the bad. I do what I can when I can. I may not do my best and I may not give it 100%, but I will never give up.