The Good The Bad and The Ugly

Sometimes you have to take the good times with the bad times. I like to make the best out of all times. As a blended family we have had a lot of what I like to call "rough" times. Lloyd does his best with what has been dealt to him. What I mean by this is that he came into our lives when Nathan and Alex were already formed. They were 8 and 6 years old I believe. They had and still have a relationship with their real father. This is hard for all of us because they constantly remind Lloyd that he is not their dad. Mostly it is Alex doing the reminding. Nathan and Lloyd have a good relationship and there is a good respect between the both of them. However, Alex and Lloyd have never and unfortunately will probably never bond. It is not becuase Lloyd hasn't tried; it is more because Alex will not let him in. Alex really does not let anyone in. Not even me! Last night we had a really emotional conversation; a rather heated discussion. I laid a lot of things out on the table for both of the boys to hear. Mostly it was for Alex. I know he gets singled out a lot, but if you lived our lives you would understand why! What started the conversation was Alex saying that I do not care about him. This is spoken from his mouth quite often lately. He even took it as far last night as to say that I was probably not even his mom and that he was probably adopted. It was very hurtful to me and I was done hearing such lies come out of his mouth. I tried to explain a lot of things to him, but to be honest I feel it all went in one ear and out the other. Things have never been easy with Alex. His form of reality is all messed up. He has a very low self esteem and I do not know how to help him. We have tried everything you can think of to help him. On Thursday of this week, I will be discussing many options with his counselor. I have to find out if there is anything else that we can try. I hate that it is the way that it is, but it is what it is and we have to take the good with the bad. I have to say that I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband because I think any other man would have ran away a long time ago, but Lloyd stays. He takes the good with the bad a majority of the time. Unfortunately he gets the bad more then the good. There is good trust me there is. Alex is really a sweet loving and kind person when he shows that side of himself. He does use his manners and I get a lot of compliments when we are out about how well mannered he is. Just when it comes to school and home he struggles. It is anytime he is faced with authority. I know where most of it steams from, but I will not go there in this post. He is going through a lot of changes right now as a preteen, but that is only a peice of the puzzle. I know that there are a lot of things that I can do better, but I have to take the good with the bad. I do what I can when I can. I may not do my best and I may not give it 100%, but I will never give up.

ReCap

I thought I would Recap for those that are new to my blog or haven't visited in a while. I am a mother, a wife, a sister,an aunt, granddaughter and a daughter. I am also a loyal friend and born again Christian. I am by no means perfect and never claimed to be so. I refer to all my children, husband and friends by their real names unless they ask otherwise. I have four children, three boys and one girl. I have many nieces and nephews as I consider my friends children my nieces and nephews. I have one sister and two brothers. I have been married twice. My first marriage is an interesting story that I will have to blog about another time. The only great thing that came out of it was my two oldest children. Now I have been married to my knight in shining armour for four years and we are raising all four of our children. I refer to him as my knight in shining armor because without him I do not know where I would be. This blog was mostly created for family and friends that have moved away, but I also use it as a venting tool. I am an open book what you see is what you get. I am very simplistic. You will not find anything special here, just a family trying to make ends meet. We live pay check to pay check and sometimes outside our means. We eat left overs and go out to eat more then we should. My house is clean, but lived in. I do not dust so watch out for spider webs. I do kill the spiders if I see them and any other bug that makes its way in. I HATE BUGS! I drive a mini van (as of April of this year), but I am not a scoccer mom. We cannot afford to put our kids in sports. My middle son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was three, but we have had him off medication for almost a year. My oldest son is quiet and stays out of trouble. Then the two youngest well they are not old enough to really cause any trouble. I had my oldest son when I was seventeen (twenty days before I turned eightteen). I will be thirty-three in August and just had my daughter in May. There is a fifteen year age difference between my oldest and youngest. That is what happens when you become a blended family. I love it and would not change it for the world. I work very part time as a preschool teacher and have been in that field for over fifteen years. I have my AA degree in Early Childhood Education and love what I do. I was voulenteering in the children's ministry at my chruch until I had my daughter. I will go back to that in August. I am a born again Christian, but I do not read my bible. I go to church almost every Sunday, but I cannot quote scripture. I believe in God and have accepted Jesus into my heart, but I do not try to force that onto anyone else. I know that you are suppose to share the good news, but I have a hard time doing so when I do not know much about it. All I know is that I believe and I cannot force someone else to believe. We live in California and have done so most of my adult life. As a child my dad was in the military so we moved around a lot. Now I like to stay put. However, with as bad as the economy is getting if we were given the opportunity we would move in a heartbeat. Well I think that is the just of things. If you have any questions feel free to ask. Like I said I am an open book!

Mother of Four

I never in a million years thought I would be a mother of four! I do not know how my mother ever did it! She raised all four of us and half of that time she was disabled. I was sick this last week with a very bad kidney infection that almost landed me in the hospital. I had to call on friends and family to help me because I just couldn't do it alone. My husband is a very hardworking man and was out working. Much like my father was while I was a kid. My father served 3 terms of a year each time in Korea. My husband works 24/7 on call and is frequently gone at night. I called my mom crying and asked her, "How did you do it?" She replied with a very simple, "I just did." Well, I guess it is time for me to just start doing because I am now a mother of four. When it is just the two babies at home with me we are okay. Even when it is all four of them at home with me I am ok. It is when we have to venture out into the big world that I struggle. Trying to juggle a baby in a car seat and a toddler, who likes to wander into parking lots, is not an easy task. I never thought I would put my child on a leash, but I bought one the other day for Luke. We call it his backpack and he has not offically been out into the world with it yet. We have put it on a couple of times to try it out. I look at it this way I would rather he be safe then hit by a car!
Abigail is doing well. She had some nursing issues in the beginning due to a tounge tie and some movement restrictions, but now that we clipped her tounge and attend theraphy she is good. I cannot believe she is a month old already! We cannot get over how pretty she is. I just love having a little girl. She is going to be a mover and a shaker. She is already holding her head up. When on he tummy she pushes with her feet like she wants to crawl and when on her back she tries to roll over! She knows she has three big brothers she has to keep up with. I have to go back to work on July 6th which is going to be really hard on me. My friend Stephanie and my mom will be watching Abigail. Luke is going to go into preschool!
Speaking of Luke, he will be two in a month and is talking more and more everyday. He loves to watch movies, draw and play with his brothers and daddy. He loves to be outside! I am not sure what we are going to do for his birthday yet, but I am thinking it will be Cars Theme. He loves cars, trains, dinosaurs, and monkeys.
Nathan and Alex are both attending summer school. Nathan will be a freshmen this school year and Alex will be in 7th grade. They are doing okay. Normal teenagers. Nathan got to go to Washington DC, New York and Pennsylvania with his 8th grade History teacher. He had a great time and I am very jealous he got to go!
Well, I think that is about it for this update. I promise to post some pictures next time.

Sneek Peek

If you would like a sneek peek at Abigail's newborn photo session check this out!

http://www.outloudphotography.blogspot.com/

Pictures of Abigail Jean

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=83524&id=529459211&l=b232beff37

It's Four O'Clock. Do you know where your kids are?

A few days ago I was awaken from my nap by a text message from a friend saying she was on her way over. I responded with, "I guess that means I better get up." No sooner had I gotten up and threw myself together was she knocking on the door. She came by to devlier a meal to us. (The last meal we recieved for the week.) Her and her roomate asked where the older boys were and I replied, "I don't know." I knew where Abigail was and I knew where Luke was, but I honestly could not tell you where my older boys were. Does this make me a horrible mom? I really should keep better tabs on them. Maybe this is why they stole from Walmart or maybe this is why Alex was lighting matches on the porch. Maybe this is why Alex lies to me about just about everything that he is caught doing. I feel that I am a good mom and everyone tells me I am a good mom, but in all honesty I doubt myself each and everyday. So next time you look at the clock no matter what time it is make sure you know where your kids are!

Baby Abigail Jean has arrived!

On may 18th at 2:32 pm baby Abigail Jean Dunwald entered our world and stole our hearts! She is perfect in every way and we are so blessed to finally have a little girl. Our birth story is a long one so settle in as I begin our journey to becoming a family of six. I had technically been showing signs of "labor" since about the end of April when I was about 1 cm dilated and told not to travel out of town! I missed my grandmothers memorial service and stayed close to home thinking she may come anytime. Well she had other plans. Progress was slow to say the least and we waited and waited, walked and walked. On May 15th I had my weekly doctors appointment and was about 2cm, so the doctor asked if I would like my membranes stripped. We decided sure why not lets see if this gets things going. By the 17th I was 3 cm and having contractions, but nothing consistent. There were other signs as well that lead us to make a late night visit to the labor and delivery room only to be told to walk for an hour and then be sent home. The next morning at about 5:30a I woke up to wetness and thought my water had broke or was leaking. Every time I moved more would gush, so we once again headed to labor and delivery. We arrived at 7am and was checked to be told I was still 3cm, but my water was leaking so they kept me. At 8:30a we started pitocin in hopes to get things moving along. I knew that my regular doctor was scheduled to go out of town at 2pm, so I really was hoping Abigail would come before then, but we will get to that in a bit. I was getting checked about every hour and not progressing as fast as I thought I would. At 1:30p My regular doctor came in to check on me and see how I was doing. She checked me and I was 4-5 cm, 80% and baby was at -1 station. She also discovered I still had a "fore bag" of water so she broke that completely and that is when things really progressed. Unfortunately she headed out right after that. I remember at one point I was 5cm and while the nurse was checking me I went from 5cm to 7cm. I had to wait for the doctor on call to come in before I could push. The delivery was fairly easy and I got to try some different positions and finally was able to push. At 2:32 pm Abigail arrived. (If only my regular doctor would have come in earlier to check on me.) I had no tearing and she took to the breast right away. It was a great experience and we all love her dearly. All the boys are doing awesome and love being big brothers! We have been extremely blessed by our church family with meals being delivered to us for about a week. We have eaten well and truly appreciate them all! I want to send out a huge THANK YOU to Jeanette for setting that up for us and also a huge THANK YOU to all the families that have or are going to make and deliver meals to us. As for the winner of our little guessing contest there was some what of a tie. My sister Emily guessed May 18th at 9am and for the weight 8lbs 0oz with the length as 21in. Her roommate, MaryJo, guessed May 18th at 12am and for the weight 7lbs 0oz with the length of 19in. So I have decided that they are both going to receive a wallet size photo of me when I was pregnant and bragging rights! There is a slide show of pictures from her birth and hospital stay as well as this link to see her hospital photos. http://www.our365.com/NewbornPortraits/BabyDetail.aspx?birthid=e317d539-2f24-4855-bf7b-790db9ca34e0 Feel free to leave a comment for us and I will continue to update as I can!