Keep Your Friends Close, but your Enemies Closer?

I like to think that I do not have any enemies. I try to like everyone, but occasionally even my family members become my enemies. People I don't even know sometimes become my enemy. I get angry with the slow driver, the rude customer service representative, the incompetent fast food worker, etc. I don't even know these people yet I let them get the best of me (or I should say worse of me)!
Just this last Sunday my two little ones woke up on the wrong side of the bed and we just had a rough morning. The devil really used my children to get to me and I got to church thinking, "What the heck just happened?" I was confused, frustrated and overwhelmed. I was upset with myself because I knew the Devil got to me. This is why I have never understood the saying "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer!" This does not make since to me. I don't want to be anywhere near my enemies especially not the Devil. Unfortunately, the devil seems to like my company. He just barges in unannounced, lets himself in without knocking and often overstays his welcome! I am glad it was Sunday because I just gave it all to GOD. However, later in the day guess who showed up again! I was going through the drive thru and I snapped at the person taking the orders. Again I let the Devil get to me; I drove away feeling defeated yet again. I need to remember that God is there everyday, everywhere, anytime; not just on Sunday, not just at church. He is my best friend and I need to keep him closest of all!

Silent But Deadly

Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night with a burning sensation in you nose and you start thinking; was that me? Maybe it was the husband or the dog? LOL! I am just kidding. I am not referring to that kind of silent but deadly chemical warfare. I am referring to Prayer and the spiritual warfare that I have faced for the past three weeks.

I have been fasting from Facebook since the 9th and I am suppose to be praying too, but I haven't. I am just having such a hard time getting into prayer. I pray silently all the time; in my head. I know that this kind of prayer is not as effective as praying out loud. Like the for mentioned chemical warfare; I have been facing some serious spiritual warfare. I know how to pray out loud and when I am in a group or at church I have no problem with this. Doing it on my own is hard; I can't figure out why it is so hard to just open up my mouth and talk to my heavenly father. I am a talker, anyone reading this should know that. I would talk to the walls if they would listen and talk back. I know God is listening and I know he would answer. So why can't I just talk to him? Fasting from something is so easy! I can give up just about anything that is taking my time away from God, but what I do with that time is the important thing. The whole point of a fast is to give up what is taking your time away from God and use the time to focus on God. I haven't been doing that. Yes, I have been off Facebook, but I still have my computer on my lap and I am still on the Internet! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! Why am I so addicted? Yes, addicted!

I read an article recently about people saying they are addicted to things like working out, the internet and other non drug or alcohol related things. The person who wrote the article was saying that it is not addiction because when you don't do those things you do not go through the physical withdraws that you would when giving up drugs or alcohol. Physically shaking or sweating. The author of this article was saying that the need to do these activities is more of a compulsive obsession. So great now I have OCD! (Obsessive Computer using Disorder)! Just kidding, but not really.

Back to the praying subject. So, here I am struggling with this whole idea of prayer. Knowing how I am suppose to do it and knowing that I can do it at anytime, but I'm not. Is being silent deadly? I keep thinking is it so bad that I don't pray out loud. Maybe I just don't have the praying out loud relationship with God. Is that ok? Is my silent relationship good enough? With the occasional out loud prayers I speak in church or in groups sufficing for all the silent prayers I pray? What does the bible say about prayer? http://www.openbible.info/topics/praying_out_loud

I know we learned about it in church probably several times. Does the bible say we have to pray out loud all the time? My pastor, Pastor Christa, often refers to times when she would hide under the covers and pray. In this case we don’t have to be afraid to put our heads under the covers, but are we? Am I? No, I don’t!


It isn't a matter of what to pray either, trust me I have some issues to pray about (IE: the above mention of OCD, amongst other pressing issues). It's not that I don’t have anything to say to God, it is just that praying out loud does not come naturally to me. I know that if I don't know what to say I can just let the Holy Spirit guide me. There have actually been times when I prayed only in the Spirit! You see, I know the principles, I know that praying out loud is more effective, but I am not doing it!

I think I am just a person who needs accountability. I need a prayer partner. So, I am going to start journalling my prayers. I will probably do it on paper, but I might start a prayer blog? I am also recruiting prayer partners. Anyone who wants to pray out loud with me; in person or over the phone please let me know. You can comment here to let me know you are interested or email me at teacheroftwos@yahoo.com

I am ready to fight this spiritual war and stop being silent. I know if may not be physically killing me, but I know that spiritually I am dying on the inside!

Day 10: Going through the Motions

I had a talk with my teenage boys last night about Going through the motions. Something I think all of us do at times. I know I do far too often. I mean how many of us are actually giving it our all! We use phrases like "All or Nothing" or our family's recent motto of "Go Big or Go Home!" We may take these phrases to heart in some areas of our lives, but do we use them when it comes to our faith; when it comes to our relationship with Christ? Are we giving it our all or are we just going through the motions? Are we Going Big; No Limits? You see God has no limits, yet we put restraints on his abilities! We question his judgement. You see we pray and expect answers, but we don't always accept the answer given. God always gives us an answer those answers are yes, no or not right now. If we pray with an all or nothing attitude are we more likely to get a yes answer? I think we might! God wants us to pray with expectation. He wants the All or Nothing; He wants us to Go Big or Go Home! He is our father and we are his favorite children, so why are we going through the motions instead of running to our daddy whenever we are in need instead of just on Sunday or just when it is convenient for us? Why are we not giving him our all? The reason is because we let life get in the way and we think that going through the motions is going to be enough. Well, I am here to tell you that is not true. WE need to step up, set our expectations high and Go Big or Go Home! I know that I am preaching to the choir right now because I too have been going through the motions! I am going to work harder to step up though. I want to give HIM my all.

Lord, I come before you with humility that I have been going through the motions. I foresake you over and over again yet you have new mercy and grace for me each and everyday! I am so undeserving of your Love, but you still love me! I want to start giving you more of me and less o the world. I am here to say I am all in. I know I have said it before and I am sure I will be here again to say it at some point, but that is ok because you are my fortress when I am weak and my comforter! I know that I can come to you in my darkest hour and in my brightest moment and you will accept me just as I am! Thank you Lord, for loving me and accepting me. AMEN!

Day 4: Not so good

I am only 4 days into my fast and prayer time and it has not been going so well. You see giving up Facebook was the easy part. I have not been on FB at all, but my computer on the other hand is always in my lap. I feel guilty even writing this because I am on the computer. I am not praying the way I wanted to pray so I feel like I am not getting anywhere. If you read this and could please give me some encouragement I would really appreciate it. I need it! I am having a hard time giving up things that I need to give up. Mainly being on the computer for hours on end. Please all my loyal readers be praying for me and if you have any advice leave me a comment! LOVE YOU ALL!

40 Day Fast and Prayer

Today I start a journey that I need to take. I don't want to take it, but I need too! Iam going to be fasting and praying for 40days. From today until Easter Sunday. I think it might be more then 40days, but honestly I don't care. I am focused and ready for what God has planned. I am going to use this time to start reading my bible again and just listen to what He has to say to me. At the beginning of the year I fasted and prayed for 21 days. I read my bible everyday of that 21 days and I had planned on reading my bible in the year. Well that did not happen. As soon as the fast and prayer time was over I stopped reading. You see reading is really hard for me. Books that is! LOL! I can spend hours reading Facebook and peoples blogs, but to pick up a book or even read a story/ The Bible online it is hard, so I decided I would fast and pray again to focus on this task. I am believing that God is going to do great things in this 40 days. He is going to help me overcome my addiction to all things that are not of him. I am going to focus on him and my family! This was todays Daily Devotional and I think it really hit the nail on the head as to where I am going with this journey! I have some giants that I need to face and I am ready to defeat them in Jesus name!


Daily Devotional Written by Larry Stockstill


The plague of small thinking strikes again! Joshua was extremely concerned that someone other than Moses might be used of God to prophesy. Joshua did not comprehend that God can use whomever He wants in order to accomplish whatever He wants.

In Numbers 13 the ten spies had to make a decision regarding the grapes and the giants. Huge clusters of fruit should have captured the Israelites' attention, faith, and excitement. Instead, their eyes were on the giants who stood guard over the abundance.

The devil always tries to get our attention focused more on his resistance than on God's provision. A small, limited vision will make us feel "like grasshoppers" in comparison to the giants (Numbers 13:33), instead of feeling that "we can certainly conquer" (v. 30)!

Philip rehearsed to Jesus how impossible it was to feed five thousand men in the wilderness, but Andrew went and found five loaves and two fish. Small thinking involves meditating on negative, impossible thoughts that outweigh the truth of God's Word. Although Moses had told the spies to go into the land with boldness and bring back a sampling of the crops (Numbers 13:20), the spies' fearful thinking caused them to believe that they could never get to the grapes because the giants were too large.

Think large: Conquest . . . good report . . . well able!

Hungry for More

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” III John Verse 4

This verse was given to me by a wonderful lady from my church a few months back. I kept it dear to my heart and held onto it as a confession over my children. My two older boys have been coming to church with me for the past 4 years and I really have seen them growing, but it has been slow going. Until these past two weeks. It started with a trip to what is called Encounter Conference in Vacaville at the Father's House. They attended and really did encounter God. Then this weekend they attended what our church calls Impact Encounter Weekend. This is a time of really getting to know what God did for us by sacrificing his son on the cross to forgive us of our sins. It is a time of healing and renewing. A huge transformation has occurred in my boys that I cannot explain as anymore then a miracle. They are completely changed and I can only praise God for what he is doing in their lives. This Sunday (tomorrow) they are getting baptized and I know that this is only the beginning of what God has planned for them! God is moving so fast right now all I can to is hold on for the ride!



Along with this transformation in my boys the pieces to a puzzle are being put together. You see, by them getting baptized it brought their dad to church. He was saved before, but has not been to church in a long time. It is also a piece in the puzzle to getting my husband, their step dad to church. I hold onto to two visions that I have had in the past. One is my husband coming to church and accepting Jesus as his Lord and savior. The other is my husband attending Impact's Encounter Weekend. Actually it is of all of us as a family attending and becoming whole in Christ!

Seeing the changes that God is making makes me hungry for more. As we come close to the celebration of our Lord and Saviors resurrection I am planning to do a 40 fast and pray to really press into the plans that God has for my family. I know that he has plans for us beyond what I can even imagine! I am ready and willing Oh Lord!

Go Big or Go Home

This is going to be our new family motto. With Luke's recent injury we learned that our children like to do things big! You see he had a very rare fracture known as a lateral condylar fracture."This type of fracture occurs through one of the bony knobs (condyles) at the end of the upper arm bone. Most occur through the outer (lateral) knob. These fractures require careful treatment, because they can disrupt both the growth plate (physis) and the joint surface. (Luke's growth plate was not involved, but it was into his joint.) If the fracture forced the bones out of alignment, the doctor will have to manipulate them back into place. Sometimes, this can be done without surgery, but more often, surgery will be needed. Pins, screws, or wires are used to hold the bones in place." In Luke's case surgery was needed. His fracture was just to bad for the doctor to manipulate back into place without surgery. He now has two pins (temporarily) placed along with a dark blue cast.
I used this website:
to help with the medical mumbo jumbo! All in quotes were taken from this website: http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=A00037
That is not all, Luke's elbow was not just fractured; it was dislocated too. We did not know this based on his xrays because it was not seen in the xray.
The doctor did not know how bad it really was until he was in the operating room. Good thing I requested that they take a better look.


When Alex broke his wrist he went big by breaking both of his wrist at one time. Luckily he did not require surgery, but one year later he broke his wrist again. Only one that time, but wow! Nathan has only had one serious injury in his lifetime, but it was a fairly big one requiring reattaching a part of his finger that was severed off in the door! Having three boys and one very strong willed girl, I think the motto: Go Big or Go Home is very appropriate!